Forget or seek revenge?

Life's been good recently. with the exception of work

Cant wait for work to be over!

Enjoyment is near.

My friend told me I'm volatile when it comes to relationships

I think it is true because I tend to break away/ show bad attitude when someone gets too close to me I feel v. uncomfortable x_x

I'm sorry but I cant control how I feel.

That is unless, I feel comfortable with you.

Overwhelmed

I can see a big difference between this blog and my other old blogs lol.

No photos at all x_x

Y'know, when I was 15, young and enthusiastic, I cared about every single blog post that I posted. As in, I'll try to make each post interesting, try to take more photos to post on every single post. My blog was way more interesting then, filled with less emotions/feelings stuff too.

As I got older, blog posts get less interesting. They get filled with angsty stuff, inferiority complexes, fears and insecurities. Why?

Does it happen only to me or to everyone as well? I wish I still have the heart to make effort to make this a better blog. But my heart died long ago.

As time passes, as I got older, I start to see things that I've never bothered seeing when I was younger. My imperfections. Maybe that's why. & these heavy things, I carry on my heart. It accumulates with time, I wonder when will the weight on my heart cause me to die...

Time to get back to work before it kills me first (:

Unease

First time blogging in the morning. Slept at 2am yesterday and woke up voluntarily this morning 8am.

Stayed in bed till around 10am lol.

To think I didnt have enough sleep this whole week x_x

Y'know, I think I've seen *'s true colours in one week. And yes, I've a bad impression of *. I know Karma will hit * one day.

自所不予，勿施于人

Anyway the hole has mended itself. hahaha

Life's been good this week cus there's good company!! Hope it lasts forever (:

Upset

Why am I upset? I think I know why, but I dare not admit it :/

How can I get emotionally attached to something so fleeting?

I thought I won't be affected, but I am.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I've fallen into the hole in my heart

We're paperthin

Sian maxxxxx :(

Korean tmrw I cnfm die lol. No mood to study for korean

I miss the old times with my secondary school friends and I wished we could have classes together now :(

I hope we'll continuing being friends forever. It was nice seeing munling change LOL.

When will I change for the better?

Anyway I dunno why I'm so timid x.x Why cant I just be un-nice to people? Why must I be nice to them and then hate myself for it?

There are so many things I dun want to do, but I do, just because I want to be polite. I dun dare to be mean x.x I'm scared of being left out, I've my social needs too.

Paperthin cus I'm so weak and un-brave

& I hate myself for it.

My hair grows long

I cant tell if it's true

so many things changed over this week

I'm dying again. And the day to get over this week is friday!

just a short update... CO tmrw, dun feel like going cus feel like studying lol.

I havent started on korean or FA yet x.x

I've to go to a gathering on thurs despite a korean test on friday cus of my ego. Why is my pride so important?

But then again has studies taken a whole new place in my heart? lol

Reflection in the lake

I'm a horrible person to begin with so do not provoke me.

I cannot get too close to people cus I'll start being mean and ugly.

Do not buy anything from my parent's shop. & IT'S NOT MINE TYVM.

You can throw whatever torn/spoilt bags away. I throw alot of them away too. I do not care, cus there's nothing to care about. Material stuffs are only material. Can looking at it make you feel better? No right.

I love being mean. You have just seen the real me (:

Lost and Found

Somethings are finally over, others coming next week. A short breather for me now.

When some of the heaviest things on my heart are over, I slack for a very long time before I recover x.x

Nothing to say about my life. Not especially sad or happy. Is this homeostasis? lol