Lost my motivation

Yesterday, I started studying for the first time in weeks. I FINALLY had time to study cus most of my projects are over, with just two more submissions next week. Yesterday I felt pretty motivated when I was at SMU with Debra. Studying felt like a refreshing activity after chionging so many projects.

But today... my motivation just went downhill. I actually went to play candycrush on my phone! After I stopped playing it for like more than six months? I wanted to do anything but to do readings haiz.

A picture of my table

The highlighter in the picture is my favourite highlighter of all time cus it's so cool. It is like a crayon and the color looks super neon compared to other highlighters. Fang bought it as a souvenir when she went to Korea. I definitely want to buy it again if I were to go Korea again. But there's like no use for it already? Cus I will be working. Sigh...

I keep overthinking ______. I know I have done all that I could and the outcome is not up to me... But I would still like to get it. Even though I know now that it is going to be very very small chance given how I performed.

Double sigh...

Reflections on the HIMYM Finale

Today I watched the finale of How I Met Your Mother. It was an emotional moment for me as I have been following HIMYM since three years ago and after a long run, it is finally ending. I must say HIMYM have transformed in the later seasons to become sadder and less funny. There were a few episodes that made me tear, especially those Ted giving up Robin moments. I just felt so sorry for him. Even so, I looked forward to watching HIMYM every Tuesday.

After watching the finale, I realized I can relate a lot to the plot and the characters.

The first takeaway is that life is never smooth sailing. Life, just like Ted's quest to find "The One", is never easy. He went through so many dates, got his heart broken so many times and even got left behind at the wedding altar. He almost thought he would never find the love of his life and almost gave up. But he didn't! In the end, not only did he manage to find the Mother, she was so perfect for him. This is an inspiration for me cus I am in a tough spot right now. I need to remain optimistic and not give up, just like Ted.

The second takeaway is that I might never be as close to my friends in the future. I really enjoyed those times when Marshall and Lily didn't have Marvin yet and when the gang were young cus they were so carefree and were just wasting time enjoying one anther's company. Then they drifted apart due to life commitments. I think this is likely to happen for my cliques as well. As time passes, more and more of my friends are likely to have more commitments, such as getting married and having children (as scary as that might sound) and they (or I) might drift away from the group. My parents don't even keep up with much of their friends anymore, I have only seen and known two family friends. I hope I can continue hanging out with my friends in the future, and like in HIMYM, be together for the "Big Moments", as hard as that might be in the future. So to my friends who read this blog, hopefully we will continue to keep in contact with each other even when we are eighty years old!!

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GROW OLD OMG. CAN TIME STOP PLEASE?