Why can't I lie

Some days I hate myself. Hate myself for not being able to lie or not thinking before making a statement.

I've been to some interviews. So far, in all interviews I've been to, there's always something I said wrongly. I try to plan all my answers beforehand, but sometimes a random question pops out and I find myself responding too fast. Before I know it, I said something wrong. Words of truth slips out of my mouth. Damage is done. I don't get the job. That's it.

I've learnt this so many times, the hard way. But I repeat this mistake again and again. What to do? Blame myself and wallow in self pity? Praying for more interviews to come my way so I get more chances, and more chances to practise. Hopefully one day, I can be perfect.

Meanwhile, I'll have to endure at my current job. My punishment for being so truthful and speaking too fast without thinking what the interviewers would think of me. Sigh...