Pathetic Me

Concert's over and my parents are overseas. What a bad combination :(

I miss my parents and I find no purpose in life. Seriously, if you ask me who/what/where I want to be in 2-3 years time, I can't answer you. I can't see myself anywhere at all. Currently, there's nothing I want to do (except try to arrange RITD), nothing I want to be, nothing I want to achieve.

Mid-University Crisis. Time and time again, I have wondered if business was the right choice for me... Yesterday, I suddenly found no meaning in reading business. It's superficial and lame. & do I really like finance, my intended major?

I think I have never truly understood myself, I don't understand how I can lose motivation so easily. Back in my secondary/JC days I never thought of Biology/Chemistry/Physics to be as useless as business and I genuinely like to study for them (well maybe except physics cus I always do so badly)

I think I know where I want to be, but I don't dare to tell anyone. Because it's so ambitious and so far fetched. Because what if it's also not what I wanted? I want to die.

It's going to take a hell lot of luck and hardwork.

Will I have the courage to try?

Magnifying Minorities

Poster designed by Siewfong!

Magnifying Minorities tmrw but I can't really feel anything yet. It's result of the hard work of so many people including myself.

I'm going to enjoy it. Whatever comes next, I don't care.

Today I'm thankful for

A lot of things!

Today was a long day but I felt a level of happiness I have not felt in awhile :) 

I'm quite satisfied with my grade for my Singapore Studies module midterm, which I got back today. I'm happy with the marks/grades I got for 2/3 midterms. Also, finally a company called me to schedule an interview for a summer internship! They even sent me an email directly afterwards! Not like ______ who called me to ask me for my IC number and said they would email me the details for the interview but did not :( Even though I still need to go for an interview, I'm really glad they gave me a chance. I've applied for so many but there was no news.

After that, my class ended early and I went to find L and he taught me how to play the yq for awhile and he showed me his awesome moves on it!! Hahaha, I'm quite impressed :)

These few things that happened today made me really happy! Plus dinner with CO friends and then practice together. It would be one of the last times that we would do that. Well, at least for me cus I'll be flying off to Korea next semester. I will definitely miss CO.

I know they're quite small but they create enough happiness for me to be grateful that I exist.

So today I'm thankful for all these things that happened to me.

I'm also thankful that I belong to a small part of CO that makes my school life a bit more meaningful/interesting. I've made friends, improved my skills on my ZR and found a bit more meaning in my life.

It's a happy day and I give my thanks.

Superficial

A (funny) video of myself, I think. Was digging up the makeup stuff to use next week for concert. Should I get a new lipstick? Yes/No

Bittersweet

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Bittersweet.
A term that a friend of mine used last time when I asked him to tell me the relationship related gossip of another guy. He refused to tell me, but he said even if the guy doesn't get together with the girl of his dreams, it would be bittersweet when "he" reminisces. I didn't think it was true but now I think it's true to a certain extent.

When I think back of the crush I had when I was secondary 2, I remembered how his class was opposite and one level below mine. I would stand by the railing as and when I was free to observe him in the class. Is it stalkerish? Hahaha. Then I think about how naive and young I was. How I was so timid and stuff. Something I really missed. All the emotions I felt.

Even if an attempt at a relationship wasn't successful, there must be some period of time when you were enjoying yourself, liking that person. You will notice every single thing that the person does and you will be happy irrationally ( due to the random stuff that your crush does). Even if all efforts come to waste, you were happy once. He/she made you happy at some point in time & that's enough.

At least that is, for me. Getting into a relationship doesn't mean you will be happier. When you think back the memories of an unrequited love, it would be bittersweet tinged with regret. Compare it to the memories of your ex, is it all hatred and bad memories? Isn't it better for both parties to be happy without hurting each other?

Just some late night thoughts that I thought I should rant on my blog since it's quite dead x_x