Sian x Week

It's week 11.

I felt like I didn't do much this semester. Compared to other semesters, it's not as hectic but I feel like the learning curve for this semester is much steeper.

I'm currently in this never-ending cycle:

1. Slack

2. Slack 

3. Slack until I feel damn guilty

4. Go study awhile

5. Study

6. Suddenly feel very sian and aimless then back to 1.

I just had a midterm for one of my modules. My prof didn't teach anything at all yet he set 8 chapters of the textbook as topics for the test. End up I had to marathon-read my textbook over the weekend and self learn everything. 

I also received a notification for a ___ on Mon. Thought I won't get it but I got. Instead of being happy, I felt sian, which added on to the sian-ness of having a midterm on week 11. Just cleared the ___ and I felt like I've failed. Like AGAIN? Haiz. I hate myself sometimes cus I can never get the things I want in my mind.

To my friend:

I hope you're feeling better :X Stay strong.

oh god I'm so bad at this.

Why I like to blog so much?

I've had a blog since I was in secondary 3 I think.

At first I wasn't open to blogging cus I was scared of people judging me. I was very self conscious at sec1-2 when almost everyone had a blog. I went to my friends' blogs, dreaming to have my own one but never daring to create one for fear that people will judge what I type in the blog. Now? I don't really care.

I was looking at my blog archives one day and I was glad I actually kept a blog since sec3. Even though blogging has been going on a downward trend lately, I still continue updating my blog, albeit less frequently. Only famous bloggers update their blogs nowadays and very little of my friends kept up with theirs. I really miss going to my friends' blogs and reading their updates! I'm an avid blog reader, but now I only have a select few blogs to go to, coupled with some famous blogs. FRIENDS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PLEASE UPDATE YOUR BLOG MORE OFTEN! :) I was reading my two other locked away blogs and I loved how I can look back at the things I was thinking of at that age & my writing style.

Thought I would like to share an old blog post from 25th July 2009, which I found quite funny. Anyw, don't  be misled by the title, I'm not Ah Lian and yay my mum no longer use "Ah Lian" describe me! Think my writing style was more conversational last time.

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AHLIAN

Went to get 50$ from nuffnang yesterday :D
(for the singtel-nuffnang blogging thing)
i left school at 1210 pm sharp so i dunno wat the liverpool people did at our school
yay, i finally do not nd to be so poor!
then went swensen's for icecream. i love swensen's mango icecream. there's this student promotion going on so its super worth it!

Happy 25th anniversary to my school :D
my mum asked me not to go school today after seeing how late i stayed up.
i was like "如果我起不来，我就不要去。"
then my mum asked me "do you want me to wake you up?"
(i am ashamed to confess that my mum wakes me up for sch cuz i cant wake up even if my phone alarm rings.)
haha, then i said "you decide if you wanna wake me or not."

but in the end my mum did wake me up, so i went to school.
this is wat happened to the canteen. it will be a makeshift kitchen for the chefs to whip up smth nice for us :D
And the controversy of the year.

our canteen is the best?! wah how come i dunno.
i spend at least one of my breaks a day in the canteen, within a short span of one year i'd lose appetite whenever i go to the canteen.
(okay, i am exaggerating) but anyway i dun really like the canteen and the food. i am okay with some stalls but there are some stalls that i nvr visited after i tried their food once or twice.

i am going for the 25th anniversary dinner later and i dunno wat to wear. i dun want to be overdressed or underdressed, which is why sometimes i hate occasions like this. i came up with smth to wear yesterday and my mum screamed ahlian at me. srsly i think my mum is too biased against me. she thinks that she knows the latest trend just because she sells clothes and stuff and is always on the lookout for new trends.

but wat actually does she know?
her definition of ahlian is too wide.
when i ask her why is it ahlian, she've nothing to say. (she seem to scream ahlian at everything i wear wth)
other than that, i love my parents.

i think
when someone dress like ahlian its like adding extra things to their outfit when its alr very nicelooking.
(which i did not, because i like simple things)
do you agree with me?

Unmotivated

1. Recently, I keep mulling over what my future job is going to be or whether I'll ever get a job that I'd like to do. There were so many graduate programs open and I have applied for a few. I should be calm and wait for them to call me for an interview but I can't! I keep thinking of how bad my resume is, how small my achievements are... & I just got this feeling that no banks will call me, almost like what happened last year with internship applications. This thing is on my mind like 90% of the time :(

2. Because #1 is always on my mind, I feel so distracted and unmotivated for my studies. I know it's supposed to be the other way round but I just can't bring myself to study when I feel down.

3. I'm pretty free these days despite it being week 9. All my projects haven't started yet but I found free time to read an unrelated library book. However, I'm feeling guilty already cus I know I'm going to be damn busy later. 

Anyw, it's just four more weeks to go. I just need to get this semester over and done with!! & just lie in bed and rot my life away

Remaining positive

Sometimes it's so hard to remain positive... But I have got to be positive cus it's the only way out! 

Hate my teeth. Even though I had braces my front teeth still looks damn big. Wished I could make it smaller like Hermione.

Talking about happy stuffs...

D'good café

Dropped by this cafe after dinner on Saturday with the CO people. I actually quite like this cafe cus it has interesting features. As the cafe was on the second floor, we had to take a lift, which is actually a platform... It was so scary to be standing on the platform, coupled with the view upwards. 

The ambience is awesome. Love the decorations and they have swings overlooking the road!

Our drinks! I ordered chocolate frappe and I love it!! It tastes like soft serve icecream. 

Hoping to come back to this cafe again to try their mains!

x

Lola's Cafe in Pictures

Debra, Germ, Siewfong and I reached the earliest. We camped outside while we wait for the remaining six

The best snack ever: Honey Paprika Chicken Wings

Truffle fries! But they were so-so only, the taste wasn't strong enough

My egg's benedict with avocado and ham! Quite nice but it gets too creamy and jelat at the end 

Full Monty Breakfast

Sunny Side Up Toast

Love how we all look so happy here. It's how every Saturday should be. Meeting up with friends and enjoying our time together :)

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22"

Taylor Swift's 22 seems to be the signature song for everyone turning 22 this year. However I certainly don't feel like I'm 22

I remember admiring my older cousins when I was young. I don't know why I admired them, probably cus they're old. I remember wanting to be as grown up and sophisticated as them too. I have just realized my dream,but I don't want this dream any more cus it feels so scary to get older year by year. I can't imagine myself being old, having wrinkles on my face and saggy skin everywhere. But it's inevitable? Haiz. So does the responsibility that comes along with age. This year the next half year would be the final year I live on my parents and along with it comes new responsibilities.

Anyway enough about morbid stuff.

L celebrated by birthday with me by bringing me out to 海底捞. It's a ala carte hot pot restaurant famed for its service. Girls get complimentary manicure! I didn't manage to get one cus there was a very long queue and they only called me at 10pm, which was too late! Even Harvard wrote a case study on their service. The service definitely didn't disappoint! The waitress who served us was so thoughtful. She took the initiative to offer me a hair tie to tie my messy hair and a plastic cover to cover my iPhone so the soup wouldn't spill on it. She even offered to help us peel the prawns and periodically scooped out oil from our soup base.

Thank you L!


I went home and celebrated with my family as well. Our family tradition is to just buy a cake and celebrate at night. My mum bought a chocolate truffle cake from Emicakes. The cake was delish!

I really appreciate everyone who took time out to wish a happy birthday! Even more touched by those friends who whatsapp-ed/messaged me! I was replying to posts on my facebook wall and I actually feel quite touched that acquaintances from my sec sch/jc wished me too, even though we haven't talked to each other for like 4-6 years? I feel v. happy and guilty at the same time cus I often won't wish my acquaintances happy birthdays. I always feel damn weird posting the post cus I'll feel like I'm a hypocrite. It has made me rethink and perhaps I will be more proactive in wishing happy birthdays to people, since it has made me happy... It will make other people happy too?

It was a wonderful day! Except I spent so much time on my assignments recently I didn't have time to anticipate it. The day just flew by. I don't want my next birthday to come so quickly please!

OMGDIDIJUSTSPENTMYTIMEBLOGGINGINSTEADOFDOINGMYPROCUREMENTASSIGNMENT?!