Sian x Week

It's week 11.

I felt like I didn't do much this semester. Compared to other semesters, it's not as hectic but I feel like the learning curve for this semester is much steeper.

I'm currently in this never-ending cycle:

1. Slack

2. Slack 

3. Slack until I feel damn guilty

4. Go study awhile

5. Study

6. Suddenly feel very sian and aimless then back to 1.

I just had a midterm for one of my modules. My prof didn't teach anything at all yet he set 8 chapters of the textbook as topics for the test. End up I had to marathon-read my textbook over the weekend and self learn everything. 

I also received a notification for a ___ on Mon. Thought I won't get it but I got. Instead of being happy, I felt sian, which added on to the sian-ness of having a midterm on week 11. Just cleared the ___ and I felt like I've failed. Like AGAIN? Haiz. I hate myself sometimes cus I can never get the things I want in my mind.

To my friend:

I hope you're feeling better :X Stay strong.

oh god I'm so bad at this.