Monday, March 30, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
LKY
As everyone knows, LKY passed away yesterday. I was sadder than I imagined myself to be. I was surprised at my own reaction because I wasn't pro-PAP, as I was probably influenced by all the anti-PAP articles I read during GE2011. I couldn't vote then but I read all those articles with fervor, and I found myself deeply unsatisfied with them. I found that they were getting too complacent and there were many problems unsolved, like the lack of HDB flats, the frequent breakdowns of the transport system, the explosion of foreign workers in Singapore and high COEs. I was unhappy with CPF too, as I felt like the CPF was denying us our own hard-earned money. I guess quite a portion of Singaporeans felt the same way and that's how PAP lost its first GRC in Aljunied.
However, recently I start to appreciate what PAP has done. Maybe it's because I matured and also I saw PAP trying their best to rectify the problems in 2011. Since GE2011, there were more flats being built, so many that house prices have began to drop and everyone I know who needs a house managed to get one. I also appreciate the CPF scheme now and I think it's absolutely necessary. The government has to ensure that there some kind of safety net for Singaporeans when they retire. If there's no CPF, there would probably be more poor and homeless old people around as there definitely will be reckless individuals who will fail to save and have to rely on government for handouts By implementing the CPF, the government ensures that everyone has some savings (no matter how little) for retirement and need not rely on the government. I mean, I bet Singaporeans also do not want their tax revenue to go to supporting such reckless individuals right? I also see efforts by the government to improve our public transport and curb the number of foreign workers. As for COE, I finally understood the government's rationale when I visited Bangkok for a holiday. There were so many cars in Bangkok as cars is pretty affordable there, but the jams were so bad!! It took our taxi 2-3 mins to travel 100m due to the jams. I got so frustrated inside the taxi because I felt like my time was wasted! I am glad there's COE in Singapore such that jams are minimized and we Singaporeans do not waste our time being stuck in jams. Perhaps Singaporeans are not grateful enough and 身在福中不知福
In light of all these realizations, I began to see that the PAP and LKY (all the next two PMs) did good things for Singapore and even though these policies might not be popular, they implemented it anyway. They could have chose the easy way out by implementing populist policies to get votes, but they didn't. They did what they thought was right and good for Singaporeans, and that's how we get to live in a successful country. That's what I think makes LKY exceptional.
However, I do not agree with his iron fist approach on some matters, such as media censorship.
I was also very touched by the love story between LKY and his wife. I was reading articles on them and some quotes really touched my heart. This is one of them:
Writing this post made me feel sad again... Sigh :(
However, recently I start to appreciate what PAP has done. Maybe it's because I matured and also I saw PAP trying their best to rectify the problems in 2011. Since GE2011, there were more flats being built, so many that house prices have began to drop and everyone I know who needs a house managed to get one. I also appreciate the CPF scheme now and I think it's absolutely necessary. The government has to ensure that there some kind of safety net for Singaporeans when they retire. If there's no CPF, there would probably be more poor and homeless old people around as there definitely will be reckless individuals who will fail to save and have to rely on government for handouts By implementing the CPF, the government ensures that everyone has some savings (no matter how little) for retirement and need not rely on the government. I mean, I bet Singaporeans also do not want their tax revenue to go to supporting such reckless individuals right? I also see efforts by the government to improve our public transport and curb the number of foreign workers. As for COE, I finally understood the government's rationale when I visited Bangkok for a holiday. There were so many cars in Bangkok as cars is pretty affordable there, but the jams were so bad!! It took our taxi 2-3 mins to travel 100m due to the jams. I got so frustrated inside the taxi because I felt like my time was wasted! I am glad there's COE in Singapore such that jams are minimized and we Singaporeans do not waste our time being stuck in jams. Perhaps Singaporeans are not grateful enough and 身在福中不知福
In light of all these realizations, I began to see that the PAP and LKY (all the next two PMs) did good things for Singapore and even though these policies might not be popular, they implemented it anyway. They could have chose the easy way out by implementing populist policies to get votes, but they didn't. They did what they thought was right and good for Singaporeans, and that's how we get to live in a successful country. That's what I think makes LKY exceptional.
However, I do not agree with his iron fist approach on some matters, such as media censorship.
I was also very touched by the love story between LKY and his wife. I was reading articles on them and some quotes really touched my heart. This is one of them:
We have never allowed the other to feel abandoned and alone in any moment of crisis. Quite the contrary, we have faced all major crises in our lives together, sharing our fears and hopes, and our subsequent grief and exultation. These moments of crisis have bonded us closer together.Also, accounts on how he cared for his wife after she was bedridden after a stroke touched me too. It is endearing to know how they cared for each other and managed to stay in love after such a long time. I took the chance to reflect on my own relationship and I think I would feel very sad if I were in their shoes. But of cause, it's irrational to be sad given that they have spent so many happy moments together. Afterwards, I felt like I should treasure every moment with Lx & everyone else.
Writing this post made me feel sad again... Sigh :(
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
On some things
1. On our existence
I had late night mookata with my family last night and while on the car back, my siblings and I discussed about humans' existence. We all know that the universe probably started from the Big Bang. From a long long long time ago, there was this huge mass of matter which exploded due to an extremely strong gravitational force, resulting in the formation of the sun, stars and planets. Pardon my amateur explanation, this is what I understood from what I've read. We also know we have come to be humans through a long evolutionary process.
The question is... how is matter even created? Like how is there a huge mass of matter a long long long time ago? Has it always been there or has it been created? Like a very apt example given by my brother: a sucker fish in a tank will only know the world around it. It gets food everyday, but it might never know who gave it the food. The answer is we will never know. If we've been created by a higher being, how would we ever know who the being is, given that we are its creation? We probably do not have enough intelligence to figure it out. Just like how computers created by us will never have a mind of its own. Furthermore, so many things in our world are governed by very precise laws, examples are pi = 3.14159, the golden ratio, g = 10m2/s. How come the laws in our world are so precise?
We concluded that we'll never know all these things and probably we shouldn't spend time trying to think of our existence. We should try to instead try to lead a happy life, with what we're given (even this is easier said than done).
But some days we really can't help but to wonder...
2. On being independent
Recently I have became less independent. I talked to L and my parents a lot to make me feel better about my current situation. I realized that I have encountered depressing things before, but I wasn't that dependent. I relied on myself. Then I realized that I hate being dependent. Why was I telling people about my bad moods and expecting them to make me feel better? Source of happiness should come from myself. Since yesterday, I have been trying to be less dependent... Hoping it will work. So far it has worked for a day, trudging on. Even if I am sad and I can't snap out of it, then I deserve to wallow in sadness.
When the source of happiness becomes sadness, what do I do?
I had late night mookata with my family last night and while on the car back, my siblings and I discussed about humans' existence. We all know that the universe probably started from the Big Bang. From a long long long time ago, there was this huge mass of matter which exploded due to an extremely strong gravitational force, resulting in the formation of the sun, stars and planets. Pardon my amateur explanation, this is what I understood from what I've read. We also know we have come to be humans through a long evolutionary process.
The question is... how is matter even created? Like how is there a huge mass of matter a long long long time ago? Has it always been there or has it been created? Like a very apt example given by my brother: a sucker fish in a tank will only know the world around it. It gets food everyday, but it might never know who gave it the food. The answer is we will never know. If we've been created by a higher being, how would we ever know who the being is, given that we are its creation? We probably do not have enough intelligence to figure it out. Just like how computers created by us will never have a mind of its own. Furthermore, so many things in our world are governed by very precise laws, examples are pi = 3.14159, the golden ratio, g = 10m2/s. How come the laws in our world are so precise?
We concluded that we'll never know all these things and probably we shouldn't spend time trying to think of our existence. We should try to instead try to lead a happy life, with what we're given (even this is easier said than done).
But some days we really can't help but to wonder...
2. On being independent
Recently I have became less independent. I talked to L and my parents a lot to make me feel better about my current situation. I realized that I have encountered depressing things before, but I wasn't that dependent. I relied on myself. Then I realized that I hate being dependent. Why was I telling people about my bad moods and expecting them to make me feel better? Source of happiness should come from myself. Since yesterday, I have been trying to be less dependent... Hoping it will work. So far it has worked for a day, trudging on. Even if I am sad and I can't snap out of it, then I deserve to wallow in sadness.
When the source of happiness becomes sadness, what do I do?
Monday, March 2, 2015
Gratitude
I've been in a pretty bad mood recently, whenever I am alone... Cause my mind wanders. As time passes, the sadness kind of dissipates a little and I feel better most of the time but I still have my bouts.
I chanced upon the book "The Secret" recently. I was feeling pretty depressed in Feb, but thankfully there were CNY holidays, and all the mingling with family and friends made me forget my troubles. My younger brother's birthday fell on CNY Eve this year and while we were playing mj, I noticed that my brother's friends had given him The Secret as a birthday gift. He seemed pretty disinterested in the book, so I asked him if I could borrow. He said yes. Is it a sign?!
So I read the book over the next few days whenever I was free. I have to say I was skeptical for some parts of the book, especially this line "Quantum physicists tell us that the entire universe emerged from thought", I was like ??? How can it be! Everyone knew the Universe emerged from Big Bang and if it did emerge from a thought, where did the thought originate from? Furthermore, another questionable premise put forward by the author was that if you want to lose weight, then you should avoid looking at fat people and all thoughts of going on a diet, coupled with the imagination of yourself at your ideal weight. The author claims she followed her own instructions and lost some weight. It's pretty unbelievable? How would not looking at fat people help you to lose weight? And how will you lose weight by just visualizing yourself to be at your target weight, instead of limiting your intake?
However, I find myself trying to think of more positive thoughts as suggested by the book. I meant, I've been applying religiously and there's nothing I can do on my part... So why not just try to think positively right? Also, I had a success story a two years back. I was in Y3 in school and hadn't landed an internship for summer. I wanted an internship with a bank badly (that's what peer pressure does to you!) and time was running out. Think it was around Mar-Apr and I've yet to secure an internship for May! An application for a bank opened. I applied for it and kept thinking optimistically. Before I sleep, I would write down, "I will be an intern at XXXX" 15-20 times everyday and soon enough they shortlisted me for interview and gave me an internship offer! But after that, I tried to use it again, I wrote for like 3 months but there was no effect so I gave up.
Now trying again...
One thing they said in the book was to be grateful. I find that it really helps to be grateful and appreciate everything... Makes me less sad and more appreciative.
Persons/Things I am grateful to have in my life:
1. My parents.
Recently I had a talk with my parents about my situation and I don't know why... Talking to them always makes me feel better. The advice they gave was good. Even if my job doesn't offer me much learning opportunities, I can go create them myself. And I have to lower my expectations for jobs... After awhile, all jobs will become somewhat repetitive and that's what I am getting paid for: to get the repetitive job done. I can't expect all jobs to be mind boggling complex problems which will challenge my intellect, like in school. I am glad I have them to turn to for advice and I know they'll always be there for me.
2. My sister and brother.
I am always surprised at how much I enjoy their company. Even though we live in the same house, we spend just a small proportion of time interacting with each other. Probably just some conversations here and there. My brother is pretty active in JC and comes home pretty late everyday and after he comes home, all he wants to do is to lie in bed and use phone. Then CNY rolls along, and we're forced to spend time with each other. I really appreciate how my sister helps me save money, she has all bargains at the tips of her fingers. As for my brother, I appreciate how he'll always help me with tuition maths problems (without complaints) or explain some random physics theory to me.
3. Lx
I really have to thank Lx for always being here for me. Whenever I am upset, Lx will try to cheer me up and recently, he'd bore the brunt of my unhappiness. With regards to that, I am sorry... I know he treats me well and I'll never take him for granted cause it's really hard to imagine how my life would be without him.
4. Friends, especially Olivia, Debra and Fang
I haven't told most of my friends what I felt, cause I feel like it's easier to share the happy stuffs with friends rather than the unhappy stuffs. Sometimes, friends get uncomfortable, I get uncomfortable sometimes. I'm glad I told Oli, Debra and Fang about what I felt because I got to know what it's like from their perspectives. Talking to them has definitely made me feel better. And also, I really enjoy their company!
5. My manager and colleagues.
Even though I dislike my job, I have to admit I have a nice manager and colleague. My manager scolds vulgarities, but not yet at me... During un-stressful periods, he's pretty nice and we can talk about some common topics. Like for lunch, when he noticed I keep coming back at the 1 hour mark, he told me that I could take a 1.5hrs lunch and he wouldn't mind. I enjoy lunch time with my colleagues too, they are so funny and they give me a different perspective on some topics as they come from a different walk of life.
6. Bloomberg
Best thing about my job is that I get to have a Bloomberg Anywhere account under my name, meaning I can access Bloomberg anywhere and anytime. It's a powerful program which cost the company US$2,500 a month and can be used to analyze any financial product in the world. Some days I feel like it's wasted on me, but I will now utilize it well!
So many things to be grateful of... I will try to be keep up my happy mood for as long as possible!
I chanced upon the book "The Secret" recently. I was feeling pretty depressed in Feb, but thankfully there were CNY holidays, and all the mingling with family and friends made me forget my troubles. My younger brother's birthday fell on CNY Eve this year and while we were playing mj, I noticed that my brother's friends had given him The Secret as a birthday gift. He seemed pretty disinterested in the book, so I asked him if I could borrow. He said yes. Is it a sign?!
So I read the book over the next few days whenever I was free. I have to say I was skeptical for some parts of the book, especially this line "Quantum physicists tell us that the entire universe emerged from thought", I was like ??? How can it be! Everyone knew the Universe emerged from Big Bang and if it did emerge from a thought, where did the thought originate from? Furthermore, another questionable premise put forward by the author was that if you want to lose weight, then you should avoid looking at fat people and all thoughts of going on a diet, coupled with the imagination of yourself at your ideal weight. The author claims she followed her own instructions and lost some weight. It's pretty unbelievable? How would not looking at fat people help you to lose weight? And how will you lose weight by just visualizing yourself to be at your target weight, instead of limiting your intake?
However, I find myself trying to think of more positive thoughts as suggested by the book. I meant, I've been applying religiously and there's nothing I can do on my part... So why not just try to think positively right? Also, I had a success story a two years back. I was in Y3 in school and hadn't landed an internship for summer. I wanted an internship with a bank badly (that's what peer pressure does to you!) and time was running out. Think it was around Mar-Apr and I've yet to secure an internship for May! An application for a bank opened. I applied for it and kept thinking optimistically. Before I sleep, I would write down, "I will be an intern at XXXX" 15-20 times everyday and soon enough they shortlisted me for interview and gave me an internship offer! But after that, I tried to use it again, I wrote for like 3 months but there was no effect so I gave up.
Now trying again...
One thing they said in the book was to be grateful. I find that it really helps to be grateful and appreciate everything... Makes me less sad and more appreciative.
Persons/Things I am grateful to have in my life:
1. My parents.
Recently I had a talk with my parents about my situation and I don't know why... Talking to them always makes me feel better. The advice they gave was good. Even if my job doesn't offer me much learning opportunities, I can go create them myself. And I have to lower my expectations for jobs... After awhile, all jobs will become somewhat repetitive and that's what I am getting paid for: to get the repetitive job done. I can't expect all jobs to be mind boggling complex problems which will challenge my intellect, like in school. I am glad I have them to turn to for advice and I know they'll always be there for me.
2. My sister and brother.
I am always surprised at how much I enjoy their company. Even though we live in the same house, we spend just a small proportion of time interacting with each other. Probably just some conversations here and there. My brother is pretty active in JC and comes home pretty late everyday and after he comes home, all he wants to do is to lie in bed and use phone. Then CNY rolls along, and we're forced to spend time with each other. I really appreciate how my sister helps me save money, she has all bargains at the tips of her fingers. As for my brother, I appreciate how he'll always help me with tuition maths problems (without complaints) or explain some random physics theory to me.
3. Lx
I really have to thank Lx for always being here for me. Whenever I am upset, Lx will try to cheer me up and recently, he'd bore the brunt of my unhappiness. With regards to that, I am sorry... I know he treats me well and I'll never take him for granted cause it's really hard to imagine how my life would be without him.
4. Friends, especially Olivia, Debra and Fang
I haven't told most of my friends what I felt, cause I feel like it's easier to share the happy stuffs with friends rather than the unhappy stuffs. Sometimes, friends get uncomfortable, I get uncomfortable sometimes. I'm glad I told Oli, Debra and Fang about what I felt because I got to know what it's like from their perspectives. Talking to them has definitely made me feel better. And also, I really enjoy their company!
5. My manager and colleagues.
Even though I dislike my job, I have to admit I have a nice manager and colleague. My manager scolds vulgarities, but not yet at me... During un-stressful periods, he's pretty nice and we can talk about some common topics. Like for lunch, when he noticed I keep coming back at the 1 hour mark, he told me that I could take a 1.5hrs lunch and he wouldn't mind. I enjoy lunch time with my colleagues too, they are so funny and they give me a different perspective on some topics as they come from a different walk of life.
6. Bloomberg
Best thing about my job is that I get to have a Bloomberg Anywhere account under my name, meaning I can access Bloomberg anywhere and anytime. It's a powerful program which cost the company US$2,500 a month and can be used to analyze any financial product in the world. Some days I feel like it's wasted on me, but I will now utilize it well!
So many things to be grateful of... I will try to be keep up my happy mood for as long as possible!
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