Barely Breathing

Just found out today that I've been deliberately excluded out of something that I supposedly belong to, and it makes me mad.

Why am I mad? I know I shouldn't be angry or anything but I just can't control how I feel. And I thought someone would care, but that person did not. I should have expected it, I shouldn't have expected too much. The opposite of love is indifference

I'm not alone but I'm actually very alone. Life is that superficial.

Recently I find that I've no reason to exist. It's like I hate what I'm doing and yet I have to do them just because I've to go through them. So what if I go through university? I end up working. I don't want to work. If I dun exist, then I won't need to work, cus I won't need money. The future holds nothing for me, and I dun wish to go to the future. I won't miss what I've never got, right?

I just want to not exist

It hurts to even breathe. I feel sad and aimless every moment now, and there are so many times I feel like crying, randomly

Until there is nothing left to love, nothing left to say.

And finally, there will be no pain.

I'll be waiting