LAST DAY OF 2013

/24th January 2014

Such a long hiatus. It even feels unnatural for me to be typing on this space.

I've been really busy lately. I have increased my tuition to 3 tutees so far (probably going to add another one in Feb), and I'm working for my parents during the weekend as well. All this... To earn money for Europe. More on Europe later.

Here to talk about my 2013. 2013 passed too damn fast!! I'm becoming old really fast :(

I spent the first few days of 2013 in Korea. I miss Korea so much, even until now. It was one of the more enjoyable periods of my life. I had no worries at all, just enjoying myself. However, it wasn't all that bad to come back to SG. I took a shower after I reached home and it feels really weird to see the bathroom so big! Not to say my house's bathroom is big, but it was that the bathroom in my Korea hostel was too small. School started soon after, and I didn't enjoy it. Then something unpleasant happened. Just so happens that I didn't know certain people as well as I thought I did.

Subsequently, it was time for internship. I thought getting an internship in a bank was a big deal, so I went all for it. I got tons of rejections before ____ accepted me! The stint opened my eyes to banking and I realized it's nothing much. Just because banking is glamourized by investment banking and stock trading, it doesn't mean going into banking is lucrative (unless you go into the two mentioned tracks). Getting a job in a bank in departments other than IB and Trading wouldn't mean a high salary or bonus, I had a glimpse of their starting pay and I would say it's normal, like in other industries but most likely you have to put in more overtime.

Then school started again. I learnt a lot from the modules I took in Y4S1. I have learnt technical skills and discovered what I want to do in the future (or so I think). It was also the semester which I felt grossly inadequate compared to my overachieving classmates, people with multiple internships with foreign banks, people who knew what they really wanted and went all out. I wasn't one of them, I wasn't hungry enough. It's something I have been pondering on, even till now. Oh, and I became interested in football cause of L.

I was applying for winter internships in a bid to improve my resume, but I couldn't get one. Rejections, rejections, rejections sighhh. Spent the first part of December feeling depressed, due to my lack of internship, which explains why I stopped blogging. After that I got over it... & the year ended! Time passed so so so fast.

Again, I'm older. I was thinking how, in 7 years time, I would be 30 years old. As old as I ever knew my Mum. But I don't even feel old? I feel like as I did when I was in sec1. Still as insecure as ever...

Five & Dime

Visited Five & Dime over the weekends

Love how they put their eatery name on everything.

Menu

Just some water. Sadly, I don't drink coffee so I go to brunch places just for the mains

Eggs Benny which I ordered! It was delish so I rank it among the top for all the eggs benedicts that I have tasted.

L's corned beef hash! The beef tastes like the grounded beef Carl's Junior puts on its beef chilli cheese fries except it tastes better! Goes well with eggs and toast 

Ambience was ok. I love the tables and chairs!

Took a picture of its doors after we left.

We went to Dean&Deluca afterwards for cakes! I'm still thinking of the lemon meringue tart

Anyway I just realized, what's with ____&_____ for names of cafes? 

Conflicting thoughts

Today marks the last day of the semester for me. This semester passed too damn fast! I remember I was still counting down to this day and *blink*, the semester ends today. Well actually, it haven't really ended given that I still have two projects undone and submissions due next/next next week. Even so, I feel quite carefree now! I'm just worried about internships/jobs currently. If only I don't have to worry about that as well.

I don't know if I should be happy or sad that second last semester has ended and after a very short break I would be embarking on MY LAST SEMESTER. I'm imagining that the end of my university education would be a huge milestone/phase for me. Firstly, there will be no more school, secondly I will have to be financially independent and lastly, I will have more responsibilities. It's just so scary given that I have not found a full time job yet. I will also lose the only thing that I have devoted my entire life (about 15 years) to and the only thing that I've done well; studies. At the same time, I'm excited that I will be moving into a new phase of my life!

Oh well, maybe I should leave these feelings to the next semester.

For this semester, I don't know if I became more emotional or what but I felt quite sad when the profs gave their usual short "last lesson" speech before the class ended for good. For financial modeling, I felt like tearing (omg I'm so embarrassed). It might be cause the prof gave us some advice with regards to the working world and it kinda made me sad that I have not found a job. Or I got reminded of the fact that I'll have to lose my soul to the working world soon. For two other modules, I didn't feel so sad cause I dislike the module and can't wait for it to end (kind of). 

Haiz, what conflicting feelings.

Habitat Coffee Visuals

It's my favourite cafe so far, love the decor and prices.

Iced Chocolate

Lychee fusion tea

Shrooms benedict! Quite worth it cus it's $12

Tomato something. Think it tastes like Wild Honey's Tunesian

Truffle fries for $8! I rank it second after Au Chocolat's version. But it's really value for $!

L enjoying his tomato stew

After brunch at Habitat, we headed to Salted Caramel, which was just a stone's throw away.

My fave salted caramel icecream

Sian x Week

It's week 11.

I felt like I didn't do much this semester. Compared to other semesters, it's not as hectic but I feel like the learning curve for this semester is much steeper.

I'm currently in this never-ending cycle:

1. Slack

2. Slack 

3. Slack until I feel damn guilty

4. Go study awhile

5. Study

6. Suddenly feel very sian and aimless then back to 1.

I just had a midterm for one of my modules. My prof didn't teach anything at all yet he set 8 chapters of the textbook as topics for the test. End up I had to marathon-read my textbook over the weekend and self learn everything. 

I also received a notification for a ___ on Mon. Thought I won't get it but I got. Instead of being happy, I felt sian, which added on to the sian-ness of having a midterm on week 11. Just cleared the ___ and I felt like I've failed. Like AGAIN? Haiz. I hate myself sometimes cus I can never get the things I want in my mind.

To my friend:

I hope you're feeling better :X Stay strong.

oh god I'm so bad at this.

Why I like to blog so much?

I've had a blog since I was in secondary 3 I think.

At first I wasn't open to blogging cus I was scared of people judging me. I was very self conscious at sec1-2 when almost everyone had a blog. I went to my friends' blogs, dreaming to have my own one but never daring to create one for fear that people will judge what I type in the blog. Now? I don't really care.

I was looking at my blog archives one day and I was glad I actually kept a blog since sec3. Even though blogging has been going on a downward trend lately, I still continue updating my blog, albeit less frequently. Only famous bloggers update their blogs nowadays and very little of my friends kept up with theirs. I really miss going to my friends' blogs and reading their updates! I'm an avid blog reader, but now I only have a select few blogs to go to, coupled with some famous blogs. FRIENDS, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PLEASE UPDATE YOUR BLOG MORE OFTEN! :) I was reading my two other locked away blogs and I loved how I can look back at the things I was thinking of at that age & my writing style.

Thought I would like to share an old blog post from 25th July 2009, which I found quite funny. Anyw, don't  be misled by the title, I'm not Ah Lian and yay my mum no longer use "Ah Lian" describe me! Think my writing style was more conversational last time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHLIAN

Went to get 50$ from nuffnang yesterday :D
(for the singtel-nuffnang blogging thing)
i left school at 1210 pm sharp so i dunno wat the liverpool people did at our school
yay, i finally do not nd to be so poor!
then went swensen's for icecream. i love swensen's mango icecream. there's this student promotion going on so its super worth it!

Happy 25th anniversary to my school :D
my mum asked me not to go school today after seeing how late i stayed up.
i was like "如果我起不来，我就不要去。"
then my mum asked me "do you want me to wake you up?"
(i am ashamed to confess that my mum wakes me up for sch cuz i cant wake up even if my phone alarm rings.)
haha, then i said "you decide if you wanna wake me or not."

but in the end my mum did wake me up, so i went to school.
this is wat happened to the canteen. it will be a makeshift kitchen for the chefs to whip up smth nice for us :D
And the controversy of the year.

our canteen is the best?! wah how come i dunno.
i spend at least one of my breaks a day in the canteen, within a short span of one year i'd lose appetite whenever i go to the canteen.
(okay, i am exaggerating) but anyway i dun really like the canteen and the food. i am okay with some stalls but there are some stalls that i nvr visited after i tried their food once or twice.

i am going for the 25th anniversary dinner later and i dunno wat to wear. i dun want to be overdressed or underdressed, which is why sometimes i hate occasions like this. i came up with smth to wear yesterday and my mum screamed ahlian at me. srsly i think my mum is too biased against me. she thinks that she knows the latest trend just because she sells clothes and stuff and is always on the lookout for new trends.

but wat actually does she know?
her definition of ahlian is too wide.
when i ask her why is it ahlian, she've nothing to say. (she seem to scream ahlian at everything i wear wth)
other than that, i love my parents.

i think
when someone dress like ahlian its like adding extra things to their outfit when its alr very nicelooking.
(which i did not, because i like simple things)
do you agree with me?

Unmotivated

1. Recently, I keep mulling over what my future job is going to be or whether I'll ever get a job that I'd like to do. There were so many graduate programs open and I have applied for a few. I should be calm and wait for them to call me for an interview but I can't! I keep thinking of how bad my resume is, how small my achievements are... & I just got this feeling that no banks will call me, almost like what happened last year with internship applications. This thing is on my mind like 90% of the time :(

2. Because #1 is always on my mind, I feel so distracted and unmotivated for my studies. I know it's supposed to be the other way round but I just can't bring myself to study when I feel down.

3. I'm pretty free these days despite it being week 9. All my projects haven't started yet but I found free time to read an unrelated library book. However, I'm feeling guilty already cus I know I'm going to be damn busy later. 

Anyw, it's just four more weeks to go. I just need to get this semester over and done with!! & just lie in bed and rot my life away

Remaining positive

Sometimes it's so hard to remain positive... But I have got to be positive cus it's the only way out! 

Hate my teeth. Even though I had braces my front teeth still looks damn big. Wished I could make it smaller like Hermione.

Talking about happy stuffs...

D'good café

Dropped by this cafe after dinner on Saturday with the CO people. I actually quite like this cafe cus it has interesting features. As the cafe was on the second floor, we had to take a lift, which is actually a platform... It was so scary to be standing on the platform, coupled with the view upwards. 

The ambience is awesome. Love the decorations and they have swings overlooking the road!

Our drinks! I ordered chocolate frappe and I love it!! It tastes like soft serve icecream. 

Hoping to come back to this cafe again to try their mains!

x

Lola's Cafe in Pictures

Debra, Germ, Siewfong and I reached the earliest. We camped outside while we wait for the remaining six

The best snack ever: Honey Paprika Chicken Wings

Truffle fries! But they were so-so only, the taste wasn't strong enough

My egg's benedict with avocado and ham! Quite nice but it gets too creamy and jelat at the end 

Full Monty Breakfast

Sunny Side Up Toast

Love how we all look so happy here. It's how every Saturday should be. Meeting up with friends and enjoying our time together :)

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22"

Taylor Swift's 22 seems to be the signature song for everyone turning 22 this year. However I certainly don't feel like I'm 22

I remember admiring my older cousins when I was young. I don't know why I admired them, probably cus they're old. I remember wanting to be as grown up and sophisticated as them too. I have just realized my dream,but I don't want this dream any more cus it feels so scary to get older year by year. I can't imagine myself being old, having wrinkles on my face and saggy skin everywhere. But it's inevitable? Haiz. So does the responsibility that comes along with age. This year the next half year would be the final year I live on my parents and along with it comes new responsibilities.

Anyway enough about morbid stuff.

L celebrated by birthday with me by bringing me out to 海底捞. It's a ala carte hot pot restaurant famed for its service. Girls get complimentary manicure! I didn't manage to get one cus there was a very long queue and they only called me at 10pm, which was too late! Even Harvard wrote a case study on their service. The service definitely didn't disappoint! The waitress who served us was so thoughtful. She took the initiative to offer me a hair tie to tie my messy hair and a plastic cover to cover my iPhone so the soup wouldn't spill on it. She even offered to help us peel the prawns and periodically scooped out oil from our soup base.

Thank you L!


I went home and celebrated with my family as well. Our family tradition is to just buy a cake and celebrate at night. My mum bought a chocolate truffle cake from Emicakes. The cake was delish!

I really appreciate everyone who took time out to wish a happy birthday! Even more touched by those friends who whatsapp-ed/messaged me! I was replying to posts on my facebook wall and I actually feel quite touched that acquaintances from my sec sch/jc wished me too, even though we haven't talked to each other for like 4-6 years? I feel v. happy and guilty at the same time cus I often won't wish my acquaintances happy birthdays. I always feel damn weird posting the post cus I'll feel like I'm a hypocrite. It has made me rethink and perhaps I will be more proactive in wishing happy birthdays to people, since it has made me happy... It will make other people happy too?

It was a wonderful day! Except I spent so much time on my assignments recently I didn't have time to anticipate it. The day just flew by. I don't want my next birthday to come so quickly please!

OMGDIDIJUSTSPENTMYTIMEBLOGGINGINSTEADOFDOINGMYPROCUREMENTASSIGNMENT?!

So much to deal

I HAVE SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK TO DEAL WITH IT'S CRAZY

Pardon me for the excessive use of caps, but this is how I feel right now. Can you feel my desperation seeping out from the caps? I have SO much work that I have no time for anything. It is hard to even join my family for lunch or dinner. For eg, I have a meeting at 11.30am and 10+pm tomorrow. It feels like I'm just living for the free one or two days I have after meeting a deadline, before another deadline beckons. If I have to live life like that, I would say my life sucks. 

I can't wait to break out of this cycle. I have no time to meet L. Only met him for a mere 2-3 hours on Monday and the next time I will be free will probably be Fri/Sat. I can no longer check my Instagram/Twitter as frequently cus I'm often caught up with work. 

I don't know if the problem lies with me. Either I have some major time management issues or I took the wrong modules this semester.

Currently I'm living for the end of week 13. 

Hello World!

I have finally emerged from my cocoon of work. I was so happy when midnight struck, cus there was no need to look at my equity research report anymore. For the last three days, my routine was: wake up -> do equity report research work -> eat/do whatever is necessary to survive -> work. I had no interest in blogs/instagram whatsoever. I had 3-4 chrome windows open, with each tabs filled with information about the stock.

How stressed up I was! My prof did not teach us any skills related to the report at all, so I had to google the different valuation methods. This report is exactly the stuff I want to do in the future as a career. It was a harrowing experience of desperation when my valuation methods couldn't work. My group mates weren't exactly friendly so I didn't ask them for help, I could only depend on myself. However, the experience was good! Even though I felt stressed out and had no time for anything, I had a strong sense of satisfaction when I finally finished my report.

Anyhow, these are pictures of my second trip to Timmy Ho. I didn't post it on instagram cus I got sick of posting food photos. Below is my review of the must-order food there.

#1 Char Siew Bun. Duh. It's a MUST-ORDER. If Tim Ho Wan didn't have this dish, then it won't be worth queuing more than half an hour for. Best bun I've ever had!

#2 Egg white spring roll. I normally don't like spring rolls cus I don't have a good impression of the taste. But this roll exceeded my expectations as the filling of this roll tasted so smooth and delish. Again, best spring roll I've ever had.

#3 Century egg congee. Again, I love this! I like century eggs so this was awesome. Love how they added in salted egg, gives a twist to the congee.

 These three dishes are my must-order dishes when I go to Timmy Ho. I didn't order their Malay cake as I had it the first time I went and I didn't really like the taste even though it was quite fluffy. As for their siew mais and prawn dumplings, they didn't stand out. I probably had better ones elsewhere.

I will blog about my trip to BKK soon!